Odie & I

My plan to finish up the Winter study guide over Chinese New Year didn't materialise, cos my place in Truly Asia didn't have an Internet connection! Kind of wish someone had told me before hand that the subscription was cancelled.

I did watch Ponyo over there, and i grew really fat too so it wasn't a wasted trip. Or was it?

Work these past 2 weeks was really slack, cos i just wrapped up a few projects. Like er, last month. Need to find something to do fast or i'm going to start feeling bored and jaded.

I did send out some really obscure seiyuu lame joke spam through the office mail which no one understood. If you're interested, it goes like this:

Q: Which place in Sunny Island South of Truly Asia is named after a Seiyuu?
A: (Inoue) Marina Square

Need more stim packs....

Cyber-Loafing on Night Duty Part 2

Hope you enjoyed my craptastic (mis)traslation of emirin's blog post. Emirin's as cute as ever while Gotou looks like she really wanted to be somewhere else. Asumi looks round. If you think this post is more retarded than usual, it's bcos i've read about 200 reports since the afternoon. I believe that sort of activity kind of fries my brain.

そろそろ眠いので, but unlike emiri, i can't sleep just yet bcos i'm at work you see.

Well, at least payday is next week.

I Am Cyber-Loafing While On Night Duty

Before i start cursing and swearing at the people who saddled me with two reports to write by daybreak on top of my regular duties, let's attempt to answer this question:

Why did the chicken cross the road?

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!

JOHN MCCAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.......

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% ............ reboot.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken!

LEE KUAN YEW: I am telling u that the highly paid chicken should cross the road first. It is our right to cross the road..

LEE HSIEN LOONG: Gantry points have been set up. All chickens wanting to cross the road are advised to top up their cash cards first.

ABDULLAH BADAWI: We have to be fair to all chickens. Some want to cross over the road, some do not. ........ Zzzzzz .......zzzzzz ....... Now what were we talking about? Ah yes, chickens. We will form a Royal Commission to decide whether it is right for them to cross the road.

MAHATHIR: Now even the non-bumi chickens want to cross the road? How can they disrespect and disregard the bumi chickens? We must be allowed to cross over first. It is our right! ANWAR: We have enough chickens waiting to cross over in September.

SHAHRIR: All foreign chickens are welcome in Malaysia but they must not cross over the road within 50km of the border.

Wong Kan Seng: I am sorry that the chicken was allowed to cross the road. It was an HONEST MISTAKE. Lets move on.

(Note: Not my joke. Too sleepy to think of any.)

Diary of an 11 year old

One evening, while I was at home doing my homework, I heard some people shouting outside. I ignored it and decided to continue solving those horrible calculus problems. Oh wait. I’m supposed to be in primary five. I can’t even do ratios, much less integrate. Anyway, I said what the fucking job and continued with my homework, whatever it may be.

Ok.

I lied.

I was dying to know what happened outside.

So I died.

And went to heaven, which comes complete with Hiro and Sae.

Henrietta and the boob fairy not included. That is a pleasure only hell can offer. Ero no Tsukaima. Tsk tsk.

It's amazing that i'm already getting a bit chubby after just 2 days, must be the high carbo meals served in the cookhouse. Well, at least it's FOC.

綾子ラブ！Seriously, i don't fanboy enough about Ayako.

And Rierie endorses CJ7, perfume and softener. I didn't know that CJ7 actually got renamed Miracle 7 in the Japanese release. So the mention of a Chinese geographical feature is too much for a fanatically nationalistic Japanese audience to take? Hehe. Btw, why is Rierie doing this for free instead of negotiating lucrative endorsement deals? Oh, i forgot she's too busy monster hunting. And that's why i wub her.

Chickens Are Plants

Because they have roots.

Here's another joke.

Happy April Fool's

Was it really a coincidence that i'm watching xxxHolic on 1 April? Or was it, as Ichihara Yuko puts it, "必然"? (The protagonist’s name is 四月一日 君尋.)

Since it's April Fool's, let's have a Lame Joke of the Day. The thing is, this is actually less of a joke than a real life failed attempt at some anime-inspired manzai.

Me: How does a Hokkien prawn laugh?
Sis: Hey hey hey.
M: How does a Cantonese prawn laugh?
S: Ha ha ha.
M: How does a pig laugh then?
S: Ti Ti Ti?
M: Puhi Puhi!
S: Wtf...
M: Dinosaur?
S: Roooaaaarrr!!!
M: Nope.
S: Then?
M: Gao.
S: ... (too lazy to deliver the tsukkomi)

THE END

(I just realised the initials of the performers are S&M. That is definitely a coincidence. No 必然 here.)

Edit: It seems that a review of xxxHolic has just came up on ANN: http://www.animenewsnetwork.com/shelf-life/2008-03-31.　偶然？必然？

Uguu...

The whole of my Friday night was spent attempting Maki's route. And I got finally got the Maki Ending! Rest of the weekend I got hooked on this old game called Capitalism 2, which was going for $9.90 at the most Popular local bookstore. Superb game.

Anyway, I'm a bit too distracted by Cap2 to write a proper post today, so i'll just go with a Lame Joke of the Day.

This story happened for real over the weekend, btw.

Yesterday, I wandered into the kitchen where the mother was doing some food related thing.

"Uguu!", I said, for no particular reason.

"Where?", said the mother.

"Uguu..."

"Oh ya, that's right. There's stir fried beef for lunch."

Kagami break while you digest that.




Uguu means "Got Cow" in Hokkien.

I was so ecstatic at the discovery that I spent the next 5 minutes screaming "Gao" and "Puhi Puhi".

Lame Joke of the Day

Qn: Which Noble Phantasm in the Fate/Stay Night universe has a variable diameter?

There might be a hint in the pics. Try translating the text.

But since I 've already said this is the Lame Joke of the Day, translating that chunk of words probably wouldn't help.

Think lame.