The Legend of Zunderella - Part Three

CHAPTER NINE

DONG!

"OH SHI-!"

Zunderella was squatting in deepshit alright. She didn't have enough money to cover the Taxi's midnight charge so she's going to have to get on a cab before the twelfth “DONG!” or walk all the way home.

DONG!

"I have to go!"

Actually she could have asked the prince for a lift and the parting scene could have been all romantic like the one with Audrey Hepburn in Roman Holiday. But since Zunderella is a sticker for fairy tale traditions, we're getting this shitty scene. Blame her if you want.

DONG!

"But I don't even know your real name yet!"

DONG!

"But I told you already!"

DONG!

"I forgot!"

DONG!

"I'm -”

DONG!

"What? You’re a Dong??"

DONG!

"NO!! ARGHH!!! I give up! I really have to go! Bye! Ciao! Sayonara!"

DONG!

"Wait up!"

DONG!

"NANNY NANNY POO POO! YOU CANNOT CATCH ME!"

DONG!

"But I’m still holding on to your silicon padded push-up bra that i accidentally ripped off as i was clinging on to you for dear life while you swung from chandelier to chandelier fending off the shape shifting monsters with your toothbrush and you maintained the squatting posture throughout that action sequence!"

DONG!

Zunderella probably did not hear that last one, for by the twelfth “DONG!” she was already safely inside a taxi and on her way home.



CHAPTER TEN

The following day, the headlines of The Recent Thing That You Write On Or Wrap Things With read thus:

"PRINCE SEARCHING FOR BRA OWNER
The Prince is currently searching for the owner of a silicon padded push-up bra. The Prince reportedly accidentally ripped off the bra as he was clinging on to the owner for dear life while she swung from chandelier to chandelier fending off shape shifting monsters with her toothbrush and she maintained a squatting posture throughout that action sequence. The palace has decreed that all must submit themselves for bra-fitting in order to identify the mystery owner. The public is advised to remain at home and await further instructions while the Royal Bra-fitter makes his rounds."

The whole country was now buzzing with excitement. Women, and non-traditional men, all over the land are now dizzy with the prospect of marrying the prince. Do note that nowhere in the announcement was it mentioned that the mystery owner will be marrying the prince. For all they know the mystery owner could be wanted for High Treason, Unnatural Sex Acts and Crimes Against Humanity.



CHAPTER ELEVEN

It was now Zunderella's turn to get fitted.

Lili, Lulu, Lala, and of course, Tes, anxiously await their turn. Wily old Tes, aware of the fairy tale convention that the true owner must be the last one to try on the bra, had arranged the line-up such that Zunderella went first and she herself last.

Zunderella's fingers trembled as she reached around to clasp the bra.

It was the moment of truth.

...

...

...

"Eh?"

"Too small. Next!", announced the Royal Bra-fitter matter-of-factly. If you're wondering which was too small, he was referring to the bra.

Zunderella's mouth was hanging wide open, probably with shock. She was practically bursting out of the bra that she had fit so snugly into just the night before. How can this be?

Well, unbeknownst to her, she had gained tonnes of Experience Points (EXP) while fighting the shape shifting monsters and had Leveled Up.



CHAPTER TWELVE

Ok, let's speed the story up a bit.

Tes was obviously quite happy that her strategy worked somewhat. But too bad for her, it was Lala who managed to fit into the bra. Not too big a problem though, for the prince is open to the idea of fivesomes, and Lili, Lulu, Lala and Tes entered the palace with the prince and they lived happily ever after.

Zunderella, now rid of her oppressive Evil Stepmother and 3 Evil Older Stepsisters, set out to make a name for herself with her newfound monster slaying skills. She traveled to distant lands, protecting the weak and helping the poor, in the process Leveling Up many times and finding freedom and ultimate happiness, as I had promised earlier.

And that was how the Legend of Zunderella came to be.

Famous as she was, though, one thing about her remains a mystery.

No, it is not her real name.

Her name's Maria.

To this day...

No one...

Not a single soul...

Knows why Zunderella squats.


THE END