Some time ago, my 7 year old cousin came over asking for help with a school assignment. It was suppose to be a poem. The cousin had somehow decided on the title "Cookery Pookery" but no one had any idea what it was suppose to mean, including the cousin. In fact, that title sounded rather vulgar in dialect.
i thought about it over a lunch of curry chicken and came up with this:
Once there was a cookery,
Which served nothing except curry.
It smelled so bad like *censored*
Thus it was called The Pookery.
Obviously, the cousin refused to submit that for homework, so back to the drawing board we went. She was rather adamant about keeping her homework squeaky-Odex-level clean, and i can't write poems unless it's vulgar. We were at an impasse. (Not really, since i could have just left her to die but i thought i'd be nice to kids for once.)
Then, a brainwave hit me. Why not just pinch the lyrics for Dango Daikazoku? It's clean and wholesome with a sophistication level befitting a 7 year old and, most important of all, her teacher would never know it was plagiarised. Well, if the teacher recognised it, he/she would probably break out into a fit of "puhi-puhi"s and award a grade of AAA+. I definitely would.
So did the teacher get a Clannad-gasm?
No... because we ended up submitting a poem about a little slime climbing a lime. Ya, totally wasted, i know. But i got the English "translation" done anyway, so here it is. It's set to the TV ver. Dango Daikazoku tune.
Dumpling Big Family
Dumpling, Dumpling, Dumpling, Dumpling,
Dumpling Big Family.
These 2 lines were censored away
For implied dumpling orgy.
Everyone, everyone get together,
Very big family.
Stupid Baby Dumpling is always surrounded by happiness.
Grandpa and Grandma Dumplings are plagued by drowsiness.
Best of friends, the Dumplings
They link their hands and dance round and round the place in a gigantic ring.
Building Dumpling City on Dumpling Planet
Everyone surfing on the Net. (Sorry, couldn’t make the original line rhyme.)
Mr. Bunny’s in the sky, waving a bunny hand down at them;
The Moon is so big, “Oh God damn!”
Very happy things
And not so very happy things;
Everything is found in this thing.
***
i tried to limit myself to a 7 year old's vocabulary. So how's it? Good? Any suggestions on how to fix that line about the Internet? =p
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2 comments:
... your dango daikazoku is horrigible.
Eclipse most certainly didn't sub it this way -_- Aka-chan = Stupid Baby? HAHAHA!
You can try submitting yours for some poetry competition. See if anyone dies of Clannad-gasm.
Eclipse's version was purely a translation. It wasn't meant to be sung to the tune. You have to try singing it. Trust me, it's a Clannad-gasmic experience.
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